2012

2012 … the year that has been talked about greatly! 

The end of the Mayan calendar signifies what? Simply the end of a calendar. Calendars end every year—though they are, in general, only one year calendars—so why should the end of the Mayan calendar signify anything any other than the end of a calendar? 

Yes, the Mayans made very long calendars—quite efficient when you think about it!—but it’s just a calendar signifying a cycle of time. 

If we look upon it as a cycle of time, we could also look upon it as a cycle of opportunity. Spiritually speaking, the more we are committed to our own evolution the more likely we are to make progress within that cycle of opportunity. This applies personally, and also collectively, as a city, a nation, a world. There was a cycle of opportunity for this world, and all its inhabitants, to move forward, to take a step higher up the vibrational scale. Did we achieve that? Perhaps not as successfully as we could have…and we have only ourselves to blame.

We cannot blame generations gone by when we ourselves do not put in the effort. It takes the effort of every one of us, in every generation, to make a great difference. And yet, often we do not do anything because we assume that as one person we cannot make any difference at all. There have been individual people who made a big difference, and they were just people like you and I, but they believed in something, and they had faith in themselves, they didn’t worry about what other people would think of them. We are far too concerned with what other people think, when we should be more concerned with what we think, and what we want to do! 

Can we make the world a better place? Yes. Should we have been doing this most of our lives? Yes. Should we start now? Yes.  

How? 

Simple! Peace begins with you and I. Kindness begins with you and I. Love begins with you and I. We simply start to live a more peaceful life, by making better choices, by taking responsibility for what we say and do, for where were ‘spend’ our energy. 

What we did tomorrow cannot be changed, but what we do today is within our control! Whatever 2012 was expected to be, can’t we just, as individuals, do the best that we can do? From this moment forth whatever 2012 will be is in our hands.

What is my 2012 going to be? It will be everything that I make it! And I will continue to love with all my heart and Soul, because to do anything less is to cheat both myself those whom I love.

17 Jan 2012

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Yes, I got a tattoo

In many native cultures tattooing, or marking of the body is a part of the culture, respected, honoured, cherished. In western cultures tattoos and body markings sometimes have a negative image. 

I want to show you a tattoo that I have recently had done. It is likely the only tattoo I will ever get, but it carries huge significance for me. 

I have wanted a tattoo for a very long time, but was worried about what other people would think, and so I bowed down to the preferences of other people…in other words, I honoured the wishes of others, whilst not honouring my own. 

The last sixteen months have been a period of massive personal and spiritual growth for me. I feel that, for the first time in my life I truly came to know who I am. And you know what? I love who I am. I am a good, kind, loving, caring person. I work hard at everything that I do, and I support people to the best of my abilities. I love greatly. 

The time had arrived when I truly wanted to get a tattoo done, and so I spent a year researching. I knew what I wanted but could not find any design that I liked, and so I went to see some tattooists, and discovered that not all tattooists are artists, and that they were not able to design what I wanted. Via a friend I did find a tattooist who was also an artist. He lived in another city, but I go to that city twice a year and was planning to be there in five months time. I told him what I wanted, gave him examples that contained elements that I liked, explained the meaning behind the design I wanted done, asked lots of questions and then let him loose! Each time he came up with a design I explained what I wanted changed, what worked, and what did not work. When I looked at the fifth design I knew he had ‘nailed it’! I felt the movement in the design, saw all the elements I wanted. Next question was colouring, and on this I simply asked the Universe to guide him. I finally saw the coloured draft the day before I was due to fly out, and it was beautiful, stunning! 

This is a commissioned tattoo, a one off, a design that belongs to Matt and to me. 

Getting the tattoo inked in was a very primal experience. I had given this tattoo so much thought that the pain was never even a consideration, the only things I cared about was the design and the permanence. A tattoo is something we carry with us for the rest of our life. One day I will be 70 years old with a tattoo (assuming I live that long – and there is certainly no guarantee that I will). Some people might stop and ask themselves ‘Oh, gosh, I will be old and saggy, maybe I should not do this tattoo at all.’ That is a valid argument. But…I cannot live for something that is so far ahead. I cannot, and will not, live thinking about when I am 70 or 80 and not live now! We must live now! I know that I would reach 70 or 80 and regret the things I did not do in my life. I would rather look at that tattoo on my 80 year old body and still be in love with it, than look at my naked shoulder and think ‘I wish I had just done it, because I know I would have cherished it, enjoyed it, been proud of it, loved it!’ And then I would realise ‘I let everyone else’s judgement stop me from doing something I had always wanted to do,’ and I would be ashamed! Ashamed because I had (have!) spent years teaching people to be true to themselves, and yet was not true to myself. I may be many things, but I am not a hypocrite. 

Dragon energy and Phoenix energy are powerful energies that I work with, and have worked with for a long time. I tend to have strong Phoenix energy (no surprise there!), but I love them both, honour and respect them both, and will continue to work with them. Their energy is imbedded in this tattoo. I also admire that the Dragon and Phoenix are popular in, and a part of, Chinese culture. By marriage, the Chinese culture is a part of my life, and I both admire and respect it. 

The actual tattooing process hurt more than I thought it would. But thanks to meditation experience, focus and martial arts I managed to get through the three hour process! The last thirty minutes were extreme, and the last ten involved a lot of deep karate breathing! Afterwards my tattooist said that it was a big tattoo for a first one! He also told me that most people can only take two hours, and that if I had not wanted it all done on one day he would have done the outline one day and another day/week he would have done the colouring. I, however, needed it all completed in one session as I was only in the city for one week, and had a martial arts grading eight days later and needed the tattoo as healed as possible by then. 

As I write this (eleven days later) the tattoo still has one tiny patch that is healing, but the rest is looking perfect and the itching is lessening! I am proud of this tattoo. It is sexy, classy, artistic, beautiful, and meaningful! I can cover it up if I do not want to show it off, or if I am going to a corporate dinner with my husband. 

People who know me well are not surprised I got the tattoo done, and the overall consensus is that it is an amazing, beautiful work of art. People who know me well love that I am who I am, that I live from my heart and Soul and honour myself whilst still honouring everyone else. 

If I am to live on this Earth as the divine being that I truly am, then I cannot hide. I cannot hide my passion, my faith, my love, my joy, my desire, my power, my strength, my gentleness, my devotion to humanity… I cannot, and I will not. Let me show you how much passion and love a person can truly live with! Don’t look at me and judge me, look into my heart and Soul and know me. I am one in a million, I have been told this many times. 

And if you want to see what difference one person can make to the world … my answer to that is: I already have! When we exist true to our Soul, when we love from our heart and Soul, we light up the recesses of humanity and we allow healing to take place. We light up the darkness and we let the light shine in, revealing the truth within each person that has always been there.

15 Nov 2011

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Take responsibility

For as long as we refuse to take responsibility for the problems in our life, we will not heal, we will not recover. 

For as long as we blame our anger, resentment, bitterness etc on someone else, we will remain in it.  

Other people reflect back to us the problems that we need to face, the issues that we need to deal with. For as long as a single moment of anger inflames us, we have something to tend to!

I do not say this as a person who has conquered all of her reactions. I, like you, am a work in progress—but I am working on it!

It is not people or their actions that piss us off, or make us take drugs, or make us lash out violently, or make us drink. Our response is purely our choice. 

We must take a look at why we respond in certain ways, dig a deep as we have to in order to find the answers. Own it. Only then can we heal it. 

Our society will continue to be a mess, until we deal with our own issues and learn to live as a whole and spiritually/mentally/emotionally/physically healthy person. 

Trust me when I say your life will be better as a result of the journey.

27 Oct 2011

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Communicate!

Relationships are based on communication. Look at your relationship and your best friendships and I’ll bet they are the ones where you both make the effort to talk and communicate a lot. 

Texting, emailing, phoning and visiting, these are the lifeblood and nourishment of a relationship. (Conversely, if you ignore me I might be tempted to believe you don’t actually care…complacency has no place!)  

We have so many time saving devices in our lives, but how often do we put more effort into communicating with people in other countries – via facebook and other such conveniences – and not even know what the friends in our own city are doing? Do we put more effort into those long distance friendships because we feel we need to, whilst the local friends are people we can catch up with any time…except that we don’t, we keep telling ourself we’ll fit them in, catch up, see them soon, book a time. And we don’t quite manage it! 

Technology has enabled us to keep up with everyone…and whilst we do that we don’t talk to the people in the same room! How often do you see a family in a restaurant where everyone is on their cell phones texting someone, but not actually talking to the people at their table? It’s hilarious! 

Technology has enabled us to communicate world wide…but it has destroyed the art of conversation. Seriously, it has. The art of conversation is either dying, or already dead.  

The bastion that keeps it alive is this: women! We are communicators, and we like to talk. We like to sit and bask in the glory of conversation and laughter. 

Men. Come out of your damn caves and dive into this glorious art before we have to text you to tell you dinner is ready! (Or worse still, text you to say good morning!) 

Communication is vital to relationships.

Let me put it this way … if you are not going to commit some effort to communication, can you really be surprised if your relationship ends? Would you honestly be surprised? Could you blame your partner if they left because you talked to everyone but them? Would you honestly expect them to sit silent in the background until you decided to grace them with a word or two? Of course you wouldn’t. So communicate, talk, chat, laugh, joke around! It will be worth it and I can almost guarantee that you will be happier! 

Take away all of our technology and what do we have? Each other. So, let’s build that up into something great. Next time there is a power cut it will be a wink and “there’s no electricity in the bedroom, so how about we go create some?!!” 

Communication = sex. Seriously? I don’t know, I just threw that in. Test the theory for me and let me know!

26 July 2011

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The inspirational Cathy DeBuono

Sometimes in life we discover a writer, a poet, a musician, an artist, or an actor/actress who really touches us. 

I have discovered that ‘touch’ in Cathy DeBuono. She is intelligent, eloquent, funny, and oh-my-god-gorgeous! But the most stunningly gorgeous thing about her is this: she is comfortable being who she is. 

Her advice in her Vlog What’s YOUR problem? comes from this place of knowing who she is. Why is this important? Because our journey through life is to know who we are, and to love who we are, so that we can love other people. It is not that we cannot love another until we love ourself, it is that can love better and greater when we also love ourself. 

I have not watched all of Cathy’s Vlogs, because I only ‘discovered’ her a week ago, but I have loved the Vlogs I have watched. It is not just that she gives good advice because she is a trained Psychotherapist (with a Masters in Psychology), but that she herself knows who she is, and is comfortable with who she is. She is very ‘present’ and very ‘honest’. I love this! I love that purity of honesty.

Too many people play games, pretend to be someone they are not, live behind facades and designer clothes, and never really show any kind of personal honesty. By that honesty I mean they don't know who they are, therefore they cannot live who they are. Instead they buy into the materialism of society, of trying to 'be' someone, of placing importance on money and fame instead of personal honesty and integrity. I would rather spend an evening with one or two people who are 'real' and comfortable in their own skin, that a room full of plastic people...or, I'd rather just stay home.

Cathy DeBuono is someone to watch, to listen to, to admire, and to respect. Yes, I'm a fan!

She’s given me a lot to think about, and one of those things was that as an actress she is a commodity that she has to market. That made me think more closely about some of the things I want to do in my life. Does it ‘fit’ the commodity that I (me as a writer) am trying to market? To market the commodity, you must know the commodity, and when you know the commodity, you will know how to market it, how to be it, to fully and passionately—absolutely no holding anything back—live it. 

My philosophy is: live with all the passion I possibly can.  

Don’t giggle, LAUGH!

Don’t sip at life, GULP IT DOWN!

Don’t air kiss your friends, GRAB THEM AND HUG THEM TIGHT!

Don’t judge anyone, LOVE THEM FOR WHO AND WHAT THEY ARE!

Don’t be meek, BE PASSIONATE!

Don’t be half hearted, GIVE IT ALL YOU’VE GOT TO GIVE!

Don’t just say…oh I don’t know… “Cathy DeBuono is good”, say “OH MY GOD, CATHY DEBUONO IS FREAKINGLY AWESOME!!” and say it with excitement, passion, shout it, feel it, know it! 

Stop holding back in life. As this person that you are, you have one run, make it count, make it the best it can be. Find people of value to listen to (Cathy De Buono...me!) and dive headlong into life! Don’t judge others, accept them, love them, learn who they are. Seek out people who inspire you, make you think, and even the people who push your buttons—because if no one pushes your buttons you won’t know they’re there! It’s a journey, people, a wild, and fantastic, and incredible journey!

I will leave you with a quote from Eckhart Tolle: "You will find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realising who you are at the deepest level."

10 June 2011

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A writer's passion

Being a writer is a career—if it were based on income I would not be allowed to use that word—that is filled with isolation. 

It is within that isolation that we often face our greatest challenges, that of keeping motivated and focussed, and also, against rejection, to continue to believe in our ability and skill as a writer. It is so easy to lose hope, to doubt we are any good, to give up. In fact, there is likely not a single writer who has not—prior to success—thought, again and again, about quitting. 

How do we keep motivated? How do we keep working? The simple response to these questions is this: never lose your passion for writing. It is that passion which drives a writer. 

And yet, as I look around me I see so many people in society who have very little, if any, passion for what they are doing. We seem to be lacking in passion and character. Let me explain what I mean by ‘character’…we have been raised in a system where academic or sporting prowess is rewarded. This process taught us to be sheep, to fit in, to aspire to the same goals as everyone else, to want the same things in life that everyone else wanted—money, possessions and status. We did our best, like obedient children, to fit in and do what was expected, be what was expected. Out character was not nurtured, and so it did not really develop. 

We lack ‘great characters’ in society, because we breed people to live ‘small’. So, what do we need to do? We need to let our passion loose! For passion and character go hand in hand. I’m sorry, but if you are not a true character, rich and glorious in all that you are—be it an innate and graceful gentleness that is so primary in your core beingness that no one can fail to notice or to be touched by it, or a vivaciousness that stuns a room to silence—then what drives your passion? Being your truest character is utterly intertwined with your passion. 

Find your character, and stop playing a role!  

And from there, you are ready to dive into the full passion of being a writer.  

Character and passion … in the throes of outrageous joy!!! 

Writing is what happens when we are in the midst of that joy, when the passion burns so hot and intense we feel it will devour us!  

Writers spend their careers being devoured, being ravaged on a daily basis…and you know what … oh God it is the only way to live!!!!! 

We may feel isolated, but sometimes we need to be alone with our computer, as the affair blows out of all control, as it consumes us! We let go of all fear and worry, and we dive headlong into the passion of writing! 

4 May 2011

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